All posts tagged: mental health

Impending Announcement.

Tomorrow (July 30th) is the day that the Minnesota governor will be announcing his recommendations for opening schools this upcoming school year. To say that I am worried would be an understatement. I am not sure I am mentally prepared for another bout of online teaching and learning. The last semester took such a toll on me and my mental health that I am more worried about that than catching Covid-19. Do not get me wrong, I fully support teachers who are fighting for the safe return to classrooms. I also fully support those teachers who cannot return to the classroom due to either having an immunodeficiency or living with someone who does. For them, I will continue to fight for their rights as employees and members of the greater teaching community. But for myself, I am hoping that I will at least be partially in person. 

Residual Trauma

It’s hard to describe to someone who has never taught in a public school the burdens of working so closely with students who have faced trauma. The heavy weight of knowing a student’s story and trying to balance that with the burdens of teaching can take a toll that is rarely discussed. Today, that toll was written all over the face my of my student teacher. I’m not really sure why I thought to write this down, but I think it’s important to remember that we are not immune to the residual effects of our students’ lives. Today I spent quite a portion of my first hour checking in with students who I don’t see on a regular basis and reminding them that we are testing on Tuesday. This made me feel more like a used car salesman than anything else. I had to try to convince them that they should come in on a day when most of the school doesn’t have to attend. I hate that this was my idea. But at the same …

Quarter 3

I’m not going to lie, Monday was hell for me. Generally speaking, Monday’s are NOT bad days for me. But this Monday was mentally taxing for some reason. Looking back, I think it had to do with my sense of utility within the school. Quite literally all day I spent with absolutely nothing to do. My student teacher has completely taken over, and I found myself feeling completely useless. Don’t get me wrong, I love taking breaks and doing my own thing. I thoroughly enjoy long naps and hours of reading. But something about feeling so incredibly useless drove me to a mental low spot. Another part of it is that I think I thrive off the interpersonal connections I make in the classroom. Without those connections my days seem empty. However, today was not one of those days. My student teacher was out sick and had left me a note about how yesterday went horribly for her in our class. Seeing that email this morning put some pep in my step as I prepared to spend …

Winter Break Blues

I am sure I have said this before, but I’m going to say it again. I hate breaks. There is just something about losing your sense of routine whenever breaks come around that make me struggle with my own mental health and sit at work for hours on end until I absolutely need to leave. Today has been no different. I can really relate to kids who struggle with these times also. We have seen a large influx of negative behaviors and disruptive students all because internally they were dreading this change. For me, I think it mostly has to do with the transition between two mindsets. On the one side, I can be a homebody. I can sit at home all day and never care. I can also be alone for lengthy periods of time and be perfectly content. On the other side, being at school is the exact opposite of this. I am constantly around people and negotiating social situations. Moving from one extreme to the other is where I find it hardest …

Writing Narratives

Today was an amazing day, although it didn’t start that way. I spent most of the morning struggling through a medium level panic attack where I couldn’t even eat breakfast. Not exactly the way to start school in the morning when you have a ton of work to get done. Fortunately for myself, I have two amazing co-teachers who had already made the plans for each of the classes. In both classes, I didn’t have to do much except get them started. This afforded me time to focus on calming myself down. As the day wore on, I was able to regain a normal heart rate and get some work done in the process. Although, I can still feel the residual effects of being severely drained and completely unmotivated to finish work for tomorrow. While the work day was great, technology was not on my side. I spent about 15 minutes trying to get the tv up and running this morning during first block as it was not connecting to the correct channel for AirPlay. Effectively, this …