I’m not going to lie, Monday was hell for me. Generally speaking, Monday’s are NOT bad days for me. But this Monday was mentally taxing for some reason. Looking back, I think it had to do with my sense of utility within the school. Quite literally all day I spent with absolutely nothing to do. My student teacher has completely taken over, and I found myself feeling completely useless. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love taking breaks and doing my own thing. I thoroughly enjoy long naps and hours of reading. But something about feeling so incredibly useless drove me to a mental low spot. Another part of it is that I think I thrive off the interpersonal connections I make in the classroom. Without those connections my days seem empty. 

However, today was not one of those days. My student teacher was out sick and had left me a note about how yesterday went horribly for her in our class. Seeing that email this morning put some pep in my step as I prepared to spend the day reinforcing class norms and culture. I felt like my teacher personality came back with a vengeance today. I guess I’m just trying to figure out what it is that makes my good days so good. I want to be able to replicate the recipe. I’m still trying to figure it all out. 

Anywho, the SEED meeting was a bit of a bust. Only four other people showed up. That is literally less than 10% of the people who accepted the invitation to be there. I’m not upset. I see this as a challenge. How do I get more teachers to see the importance of equity? I wish I had the answer. One thing I did realize in this meeting was that the role of implicit bias literally everywhere and in everything that we do. I thought about it as I recalled negative remarks from an old friend on how tv shows were just pandering to a group when they added diverse characters. What we see as normal is only normal because it is what is served to us. Everything we view as culturally normal has been normalized by the processes of socialization. Essentially, we are pandering to our own group and neglecting other voices which in turn keeps our biases alive and well.