Ask anyone what their greatest fears are and they will probably give you some surface answer. I don’t doubt that those people have genuine fears, just that they wouldn’t be ready to tell the truth much in the same way that I wouldn’t normally be telling the truth. But I feel that if I don’t make a proclamation about my goals, I won’t accomplish them. I know that this goes against every psychological study that has shown that telling people you are going to do something makes it very unlikely that you will do something, but I also think that through sharing I am confronting the problem head-on. Plus, I have already started the process through communicating my student’s needs to other teachers.
My goal for this year is to assert myself and take action when communicating with other teachers instead of letting things remain in limbo so that I don’t have to have the discomfort of saying no or challenging another’s thinking. I can recount millions of times where I shook my head and said ok because I was afraid of the confrontation or the rejection. But I am resolved to work on it starting with admitting that it is a factor that holds me back from doing the things that I should be doing.
On another note, I am currently writing a short essay on the similarities of the language used against people who strive to social justice, particularly those who are unaffected by social issues who fight in the name of those who are impacted. All of this was started when I was helping my significant other with her research paper on the definition of the word racism. It’s extremely fascinating to me how people will attack those they disagree with in order to not feel discomfort or dissonance in their self when their culture is challenged as negative. It also is putting me into a perspective where I can see how Judeo-Christian culture distorts our perspective on people of other faiths when we judge their religions by our standards of what a religion is. I’m an atheist, and this still affects me.